Rae A. Stonehouse is a Canadian born author & speaker. His professional career as a Registered Nurse working predominantly in psychiatry/mental health, has spanned four decades.
Rae has embraced the principal of CANI (Constant and Never-ending Improvement) as promoted by thought leaders such as Tony Robbins and brings that philosophy to each of his publications and presentations.
Rae has dedicated the latter segment of his journey through life to overcoming his personal inhibitions. As a 20+ year member of Toastmasters International he has systematically built his self-confidence and communicating ability. He is passionate about sharing his lessons with his readers and listeners. His publications thus far are of the self-help, self-improvement genre and systematically offer valuable sage advice on a specific topic.
His writing style can be described as being conversational. As an author Rae strives to have a one-to-one conversation with each of his readers, very much like having your own personal self-development coach. Rae is known for having a wry sense of humour that features in his publications.
Author of Self-Help Downloadable E-Books:
Power Networking for Shy People: Tips & Techniques for Moving from Shy to Sly!
PROtect Yourself! Empowering Tips & Techniques for Personal Safety: A Practical Violence Prevention Manual for Healthcare Workers.
E=Emcee Squared: Tips & Techniques to Becoming a Dynamic Master of Ceremonies.
Power of Promotion: On-line Marketing for Toastmasters Club Growth
You're Hired! Job Search Strategies That Work: Available as an easily downloadable e-book or as an on-line e-course.
Rae’s social … are you?
Linkedin? Rae is http://www.linkedin.com/in/raestonehouse
Copyright 2015 Rae Stonehouse. The above document may be freely copied and distributed as long as the author’s name and contact info remain attached.
To learn more about Rae A. Stonehouse, visit the Wonderful World of Rae Stonehouse at http://raestonehouse.com.
As answered on Quora.com ...
Without being able to ask the questioner further questions about this particular scenario, I’m going to make the assumption that the question refers to an interviewee for a position of Experienced Lecturer where the person is asked the age old question of “Tell us about yourself?”
On the surface, this looks like a fairly simple question. In reality, it is probably one of the most challenging ones that you will encounter in a job interview.
Let’s look at it in levels. On one level, the interviewer(s) are assessing your response to the question. They are looking to see if you have the right blend of experience and skills to solve their problem. If they are interviewing to fill a position, they obviously have a problem i.e. a vacancy to fill. They may also have to justify to their higher ups, why they chose to hire you … or not.
Firstly, you need to develop your all-round public speaking skills so that when the opportunity arises, you have the ability and the self-confidence to deliver an impromptu speech. Secondly, you need to say something that is worth your audience’s time to listen to.
Let me clarify impromptu speaking scenarios for anyone reading this response. Here are some examples of impromptu speaking opportunities:
· The scheduled speaker is unavailable
· You are sitting on a panel answering questions from the audience
· You are fielding questions after your own talk
· You are being interviewed on television, radio, webinar, or telephone
· You are invited (at the last moment) to say a few words at a company gathering
· You are asked to provide a brief status report for your project at a department meeting
· You are motivated to join the debate at the parent association meeting for your child’s school
· You decide to give an unplanned toast at an event with family or friends
It doesn’t really matter if you are a funeral director, a tow truck driver, a cosmetician or even an accountant, the same rules apply to becoming an engaging speaker.
The first two caveats are likely that you have to something worthwhile talking about and secondly you need an audience i.e. somebody who is interested or could benefit from your message.
The secret to becoming an engaging speaker is to be confident in your speaking. Darren Lacroix, the 2001 World Champion of Public Speaking, often says that the secret to becoming confident in your speaking is “stagetime, stagetime, stagetime” which can also be interpreted as “practice, practice, practice!”
Any local Toastmasters club will give you ample opportunities to hone your speaking skills and in turn increase your self-confidence. Fellow club members will provide constructive feedback that will help hone your skills. As a 22 year member of Toastmasters, so far, I have certainly benefitted from the opportunities that my club membership has provided. I have also accepted many speaking opportunities out in the public that also continue to help me hone my speaking skills.
Question as asked on Quora.com and answered by Rae Stonehouse. “What are the speed professional networking tips?”
I’m not sure how to interpret this question. One way would be that the question is looking for tips from professional speed networkers. This would presume that there is a subsector of elite networkers that consider themselves professionals. If so, I would expect that they are self-proclaimed professionals. That leads me to wonder that if they are so good, why do they have to keep producing more connections? Wouldn’t it be better to build quality relationships with the number of connections they already have i.e. quality over quantity?
Another perspective is that the question is asking for speed networking tips from business professionals that are successful using the format of speed networking. I’ll go with the latter.
Speed networking is an organized event where the expectation is that all of the participants will have access to a greater number of personal interactions then they would on their own or at a typical, non-organized meet and greet.
This question is asking for tips i.e. what works and perhaps what doesn’t. Here are some to consider based on my experience and opinion.
As answered on Quora.com...
A one-size-fits-all response doesn’t work with this question. The best self introduction is the one that you are comfortable delivering and that serves your purpose.
In my article How High Does Your Elevator Go?, I suggest that you prepare several different versions of your elevator pitch i.e. self-introduction, as well as different time lengths.
How long should your elevator pitch be? Good question! Answer … It depends. Not much of an answer at first glance, but it really depends on the norms or the culture for location or venue of the networking session. Presenting your 30 minute curriculum vitae wouldn’t likely go over very well in a round-robin style of group introduction where the expectation is 30 seconds, not 30 minutes.
Many referral networking breakfast/luncheon groups based on the BNI (Business Networking International) model, limit their members to 30 second elevator pitches. The more members, the longer the activity takes, but at least it gives everyone an opportunity to speak.
As answered on Quora.com
Interesting answers on the question of “How do I get better at networking?
A few years ago I asked myself the very same question. There are some people that will tell you that they absolutely love networking. They will say something like “It’s so much fun!” Yet, others, will tell you that they would rather have a root canal than attend a business networking event. As a shy introvert, networking was a painful activity for me. I’ve recently experienced a root canal and believe me … networking is much less painful.
John Jantsch from Duct Tape Marketing says that “networking isn’t something that you do before work or after work … it is work!” You don’t need to network to be in business butyou do if you want to stay in business!
Networking is not a normal and easy activity for many people, especially if you are shy. It is a skill that must be learned and practiced. In business and in life, a majority of our success comes from talking to people and involving them in your ideas, plans, or projects.
As answered in Quora.com
Calling it ‘social anxiety’ is great for mental health clinicians. We’ve always known it as shyness.
Shyness is a learned behaviour. We are conditioned to be shy by our circumstances in life. We aren’t born with it. Experiences that have been unpleasant to us have a way of repeating themselves when we least expect it. Odds are, that when we respond with shyness in a social situation, we wouldn’t recognize that our response is conditioned or a reflex related to the original incident. Our conscious mind won’t give us access to that memory. Yet we respond almost in the exact same way as we originally did.
The big pharmaceutical companies would have us believe that shyness is an illness i.e. social phobia (social anxiety) and they just happen to have a high priced pill to cure you of your illness. You don’t cure shyness. It isn’t an illness. You can however reduce the impact that it has upon your life and the limitations that it creates for you.
You also can’t generalize the symptoms of shyness. Situations that cause you distress may not bother me or someone else at all and vice versa.
I’ve been plagued with shyness throughout my life. Many people who know me would find that hard to believe and often consider me to be an outgoing person. I’m not. My default mode is to be shy. What makes the difference for me is that I have worked hard at overcoming my shyness, in those social situations that have caused me problems. I have learned strategies that have helped. Not all the time though. I still feel anxiety when I walk into a crowded room and don’t recognize anyone.
As answered on Quora ...
There would seem to me to be at least three separate elements that need addressed in answering this commonly asked question i.e. 1) introversion 2) networking successfully & 3) career.
There seems to be a belief, at least in North America, that being an extravert in the business world, is better than being an introvert. Extravert is good, introvert is bad. Or it would seem that many extraverts would have us believe this and many of my fellow introverts have bought into the myth. Introversion vs extraversion is merely a way to describe where you get your energy from. You might say it is how you recharge your batteries.
Extraverts thrive on activity and being part of and participating in larger groups of people. Some love the crowd scene and being the centre of attention. Good for them! Introverts on the other hand prefer solitary activities, certainly quieter ones. Its hard to recharge when the extraverted world is focused on hustle and bustle. As an introvert, I require a certain amount of ‘me time’ to recharge and participate in the numerous creative activities I have underway at any given time. I will go on record as saying that I would much rather party with an extravert though!
When it comes to networking, be it for business, career or pleasure, I don’t think the issue to focus on is whether one is an introvert or an extravert. The real focus should be on shyness.
As answered at Quora.com ...
Like any thought-provoking question, there likely isn’t a definitive answer. This one, as others, would likely fit into the “it depends” category.
Let me preface my comments with sharing that I am a 22 years and counting member of Toastmasters, Past District 21 Governor and a Distinguished Toastmaster. I wouldn’t say that I was painfully shy when I joined Toastmasters but my shyness did limit me significantly.
While I can’t recommend a Toastmasters club enough for its ability to help increase your self-confidence, your poise, your communication & leadership skills and in time a reduction of one’s shyness, it isn’t an automatic effect of joining a club. You don’t learn public speaking by osmosis. You actually have to speak and incrementally improve your skill and self-confidence.
The same applies to reduction of one’s shyness. If you join a Toastmasters club with the expectation that they will solve your shyness problem, then you will be disappointed. On the other hand, if you join with the express purpose of reducing your shyness and a self-directed plan to do so, you will likely be successful.
Our Toastmasters club officers take on their leadership role in one year increments. They are learning on the job as they practice servant leadership. I would expect that few of them have any practical experience in helping a shy person move forward. I have encountered far too many people, which tend to be extroverts, say “Just do as I do! That’s the right way!” When helping someone overcome shyness, it isn’t a ‘one size fits all’ scenario.
Distracted Driving Not Okay!
While out for a walk in my neighborhood the other day I noticed a small white car approaching me, unusually slowly. I figured it to be my neighbour, who tends to do so. As the car passed me I was startled to see a young woman behind the wheel, her hands on the bottom of the steering wheel and her two thumbs pecking away on her smart phone. She would take the odd peek at the road ahead, then go back to her pecking away on her phone.
Smart phone … stupid driver! If she lived in the neighborhood, what could be so important that she would have to text somebody, only minutes after leaving home?
What will it take for people to understand that we have a distracted driving law and that it applies to everybody? It applies when you are out in traffic. It applies when you are in your own neighborhood. It applies to everyone.
Then there are those that still choose to talk on the phone, while they are driving. There is hardly a day go by where I don’t see someone yacking on a phone held in one hand up to their ear, while steering with the other. While totally anecdotal, the biggest offending demographic that I see, is young to middle-aged men, driving large pick-up trucks. Apparently, having the label of contractor or tradesman gives them rights that others don’t have, or so they would have you believe.