Okanagan Panorama

Rae Stonehouse

Rae Stonehouse

Author Bio:

Rae A. Stonehouse is a Canadian born author & speaker. His professional career as a Registered Nurse working predominantly in psychiatry/mental health, has spanned four decades.

Rae has embraced the principal of CANI (Constant and Never-ending Improvement) as promoted by thought leaders such as Tony Robbins and brings that philosophy to each of his publications and presentations.

Rae has dedicated the latter segment of his journey through life to overcoming his personal inhibitions. As a 20+ year member of Toastmasters International he has systematically built his self-confidence and communicating ability. He is passionate about sharing his lessons with his readers and listeners. His publications thus far are of the self-help, self-improvement genre and systematically offer valuable sage advice on a specific topic.

His writing style can be described as being conversational. As an author Rae strives to have a one-to-one conversation with each of his readers, very much like having your own personal self-development coach. Rae is known for having a wry sense of humour that features in his publications.


Author of Self-Help Downloadable E-Books:

Power Networking for Shy PeoplePower Networking for Shy People: Tips & Techniques for Moving from Shy to Sly!

PROtect Yourself!PROtect Yourself! Empowering Tips & Techniques for Personal Safety: A Practical Violence Prevention Manual for Healthcare Workers.

E=Emcee SquaredE=Emcee SquaredTips & Techniques to Becoming a Dynamic Master of Ceremonies.

Power of PromotionPower of Promotion: On-line Marketing for Toastmasters Club Growth

You're Hired! Job Search Strategies That Work: Available as an easily downloadable e-book or as an on-line e-course. 

Phone Rae 250-451-6564 or info@raestonehouse.com

Rae’s social … are you?

Twitter: http://twitter.com/RaeStonehousehttp://twitter.com/RaeStonehouse

Linkedin? Rae is http://www.linkedin.com/in/raestonehousehttp://www.linkedin.com/in/raestonehouse

Copyright 2018 Rae Stonehouse. The above document may be freely copied and distributed as long as the author’s name and contact info remain attached.


To learn more about Rae A. Stonehouse, visit the Wonderful World of Rae Stonehouse at http://raestonehouse.com.

Monday, 24 October 2016 01:54

How can I stop feeding my ego?

As originally answered on Quora.com ...

This question doesn’t provide a lot of details which explains why the answers are all over the place.

My first question to you would be … “why would you want to?” Have you been told by someone that your ego is too big? Or perhaps you are full of yourself?

As originally answered on Quora.com ...

Some advice makes me feel like a robot following their instructions to be human during conversations and suggested techniques to talk and gain confidence will just be rehearsed actions that isn't the real me. At the same time I feel like I don't have a personality so I'd gain one if I do change.


Short answer to your question … yes, it most likely would, if the change you are referring to is only a cosmetic change to your personality i.e. a cover-up.

As originally answered on Quora.com ... 


This question is looking for a specific answer, however not having met you, I can only give you suggestions based on possible reasons. It will be up to you to determine which applies to you and what you want to do about it.

Looking at your statement logically, if people do not like you when you stand up for yourself, presumably they do like you at other times, including when you do not stand up for yourself.

As originally answered on Quora.com ... 


I have a word stuck in my head and I can’t get it out.


The answers to your question are all over the place. I think that the suggestion that you were possessed by demons was even eluded to. I’m assuming that you are not into do-it-yourself exorcism.


Based on the limited amount of information provided in the question, I will not make any further assumptions, but will provide you with some professional advice.

As originally answered on Quora.com ... 


I see two separate but interdependent issues here. You are asking how to forgive your mother. And you are commenting that she is hurting you repeatedly and doesn’t think it is wrong?

Let’s address the hurting you repeatedly aspect. Your question doesn’t indicate whether this behaviour of your mother’s towards you is currently happening or if it was sometime in the past. There is a difference. You can’t change the past but you can influence and change your present and your future as it unfolds.

Jumping ahead a bit, if your mother was hurting you in the past, then it is possible to forgive her. If she is hurting you in the present, it is not likely that you will be able to forgive her now. You will need to have some closure and/or discontinuation of her hurting behaviour before you can start the forgiveness process.

Monday, 24 October 2016 01:38

Do you forgive all those who have hurt you?

As originally answered on Quora.com ...

Short answer: “No!”


Slightly longer answer: Life is too short to spend that much time forgiving the masses of people that have hurt me.


As we journey through life we are likely hurt by countless numbers of people. The fact that we have been hurt, doesn’t necessarily mean that the other individual actually meant to hurt us. Or perhaps they did!


Being hurt, is a subjective response on our part. We may not do in consciously, our subconscious mind does it automatically to protect our conscious mind.

As originally answered on Quora.com ... 

The short and quick answer to this question in my mind is that you find the ideal speed for speaking in public by trial and error.

As North Americans, it is often said that we speak at a rate of between 125 and 175 words per minute. The challenge is that we don’t know how fast our audience is capable of not only hearing us, but understanding us.

Speak too slow and the audience gets bored and restless. Speak too fast and you start to lose audience members that can’t keep up. They get frustrated and turn you out.

As originally answered on Quora.com ... 

vision definition buttonThis question might be better asked as can visualization help us to improve our public speaking skills?

Visualization is a technique often used by high-performance coaches for training athletes and other individuals who are actively trying to gain a competitive edge.

There is a technique behind visualizing. It is not likely to be successful if one focuses on negative aspects of their performance. Examples: focusing on their fear, focusing on the possibility of failure, not having  a clear vision of the objective.

I was listening to a high-performance coach who was a guest on a podcast focusing on public speaking. He had worked with Michael Phelps in preparation for the Olympics. He related that whereas regular competitors at that level of competition would be in the water in the morning and the evening i.e. two practices every day. Phelps on the other hand, would only have one swimming practice in the morning. For the second session, instead of being in the pool swimming, he would focus on the videos of his practice. He would focus on every single stroke and visualize on how he could improve his performance, stroke by stroke. That’s quite a bit of devotion.

As originally answered on Quora.com ... 

discussion between two 3d charactersThanks for an interesting question. I have always thought of communication in terms of being interpersonal or non-interpersonal i.e. to everybody but nobody specific, not in terms of personal or impersonal.  

BusinessDictionary.com defines impersonal communication as follows:

A type of communicationor interaction that is based specifically on socialroles, such as communication between asales representativeand apotential customer. The manner of communication is informal andsuperficial,coveringtopicsnecessary to instigate asaleor similar transaction.

I’m a freshman in college. I have problems speaking in class/public. Maybe I’m too Shy. My heart beats fast I start blushing and can feel the heat. I’m afraid to tell anyone because they think I'm dumb. My family always make fun of me because of this and tells me that I should be like my siblings.


As originally answered on Quora.com...

I believe you have an excellent response to your question from Lovelyn Bettison and I’m struggling to add to her answer.


No, you are definitely not alone in your shyness. The latest statistics from the Shyness Institute say that more than 50% of Americans indicated in a poll that they experience shyness in certain social situations.


Shyness and fear of public speaking, while related, are two different scenarios. To resolve either of them at a basic level, both require specific skill development, which in turn increases self-confidence and subsequently decreases fear. You can be skilled at public speaking, yet still be shy in social situations. I know this is true for me.

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