Okanagan Panorama

Rae Stonehouse

Rae Stonehouse

Author Bio:

Rae A. Stonehouse is a Canadian born author & speaker. His professional career as a Registered Nurse working predominantly in psychiatry/mental health, has spanned four decades.

Rae has embraced the principal of CANI (Constant and Never-ending Improvement) as promoted by thought leaders such as Tony Robbins and brings that philosophy to each of his publications and presentations.

Rae has dedicated the latter segment of his journey through life to overcoming his personal inhibitions. As a 20+ year member of Toastmasters International he has systematically built his self-confidence and communicating ability. He is passionate about sharing his lessons with his readers and listeners. His publications thus far are of the self-help, self-improvement genre and systematically offer valuable sage advice on a specific topic.

His writing style can be described as being conversational. As an author Rae strives to have a one-to-one conversation with each of his readers, very much like having your own personal self-development coach. Rae is known for having a wry sense of humour that features in his publications.


Author of Self-Help Downloadable E-Books:

Power Networking for Shy PeoplePower Networking for Shy People: Tips & Techniques for Moving from Shy to Sly!

PROtect Yourself!PROtect Yourself! Empowering Tips & Techniques for Personal Safety: A Practical Violence Prevention Manual for Healthcare Workers.

E=Emcee SquaredE=Emcee SquaredTips & Techniques to Becoming a Dynamic Master of Ceremonies.

Power of PromotionPower of Promotion: On-line Marketing for Toastmasters Club Growth

You're Hired! Job Search Strategies That Work: Available as an easily downloadable e-book or as an on-line e-course. 

Phone Rae 250-451-6564 or info@raestonehouse.com

Rae’s social … are you?

Twitter: http://twitter.com/RaeStonehousehttp://twitter.com/RaeStonehouse

Linkedin? Rae is http://www.linkedin.com/in/raestonehousehttp://www.linkedin.com/in/raestonehouse

Copyright 2018 Rae Stonehouse. The above document may be freely copied and distributed as long as the author’s name and contact info remain attached.


To learn more about Rae A. Stonehouse, visit the Wonderful World of Rae Stonehouse at http://raestonehouse.com.

Thursday, 01 September 2016 03:58

What are the benefits of like-minded connections?

as originally answered on Quora.com


Power Networking HandshakeIt might be helpful to think in terms of the mutual benefits of like-minded connections. While being like-minded, some may call it resonating, certainly makes it easier to communicate your desire to the other person, there is great value in offering something in return.

Being like-minded doesn’t mean that they are exactly the same as you. We all have our own life-experiences, wants, desires, hopes, prejudices and biases. Even though we are like-minded on specific topics, we are still quite different.

Far too many people in business have the idea that they need to get something from somebody, whether at a cost or free. A different approach, as promoted by Dr. Ivan Misner of BNI (Business Networking International) is that of ‘givers gain.’ The concept simply put, is that if you give freely to others, you will receive something of equal or greater value in return.

If you are a Law of Attraction believer the concept is that if you do something favourable for somebody else, without the expectation of return from them, the Universe will see to it that you receive something in return. The challenge is in recognizing the fact that what you receive in return may not come from the person you gave to. It could come from another source.

I'm trying to understand the entire market of "professional networking groups" including what are the largest groups, how many people attend, what professions utilize professional networking etc.  Thanks in advance for your help.


as originally answered on Quora.com


From my experience, there is very little research, if any on the subject of professional networking groups. Just to clarify the question a little I would expect that you are asking about groups where professionals network, rather than networking groups that are professional in nature. Professional Associations, might meet that criteria.

Thursday, 01 September 2016 02:40

If you do not toot your own horn then who will?

as originally answered in Quora.com

Blow your own horn! If you don't who will?Short answer … in my opinion … likely nobody will.

Slightly longer answer …

Even is someone is tooting (blowing) your horn, are they playing the right tune?

Self-promotion is an area that many people have great difficulty with. We are trained at an early age that talking about yourself and your accomplishments is bragging and nobody likes a bragger. I’m fond of a quote by Walt Whitman, American Cowboy Poet “If you done it, it ain’t bragging!”

If we are to move forward and benefit from our accomplishments, we need to self-promote.

I recently delivered a seminar at my Toastmasters club entitled ‘Blow Your Own Horn: Personal Marketing for Everyday People.”

In the seminar I outlined the differences between personal branding and corporate branding. I encouraged everyone to do a self-analysis to determine what they stand for. I outlined ways to use Linkedin and other social media to facilitate self-promotion.

as originally answered on Quora.com

Should you listen to your audience? Of course!For far too long, many presenters believe that delivering a presentation is a one-way process. The presenter delivers the goods and the audience passively receives them.

It may have been that way once upon a time. Nowadays, audiences have higher expectations of presenters. They expect the presentation to be interactive and they expect to be able to ask questions of the presenter.

The basics of communication is as follows: A delivers a message to BB receives it and responds to A. If B doesn’t receive the message in the first place, communication hasn’t taken place. If B does receive the message but chooses not to respond to A, then communication has occurred but A does not receive any feedback.

When presenting i.e. communicating to your audience, listening to your audience is only one of the tasks that you need to be doing.

The most obvious reason to listen to your audience, at least to me, is to ensure they are awake. Snoring is a good clue that your presentation and topic aren’t as exciting as you would believe. More than one audience member snoring is even a more startling observation. Not in my presentations of course … but I have seen it many times in others.

As a presenter you need to listen to your audience and perhaps direct your presentation to meet the audience’s needs, not necessarily yours.

Depending on the structure of your presentation you can allow questions as you proceed through your material or you can wait until the end. There are advantages and disadvantages to both. If you allow questions throughout your presentation you need to allow time for the questions, your answers and additional dialogue. This can take up time so you likely need to plan on delivering less content than you might have expected.

The communication manuals of the toastmaster club are avialable for download online.So can i use the material and organize an informal meeting among my friends in college on the lines of The Toastmaster meeting i.e Prepared speeches, Impromptu speeches and Evaluations?

as originally answered on Quora.com

A Leader Takes People where they never go on there own.Theoretically, you could. I am sure that many speech/presentation coaches have done so. Likely though, they have recreated the content so that it is in a new format. I have done so.

Using the material for what you are suggesting is copyright infringement. Toastmasters International has a well-developed brand and should it be brought to their attention that you are using their material without permission you may very well receive contact from their Legal Department with a cease and desist order.

Thursday, 01 September 2016 01:51

How do I make my students deliver a good speech?

as originally answered on Quora.com

This is a challenging question in that it doesn’t provide a lot of parameters. How old are the students? Have the students had any speech construction and delivery training? What is the nature of the speech that it is expected? Is it exciting or mundane? Is their performance and delivery rated by a pass/fail grade?

I would start off by addressing one aspect of the question “How do I make …” You can’t make anybody do so. You can encourage them, teach them, help motivate them but make them, no.

Tuesday, 30 August 2016 03:54

How should I end my extempore speech?

as originally answered on Quora.com

Be Sincere, be brief, be seated!I don’t think that I can add a lot to the excellent response to this question from Deb Volberg Pagnotta.

Something that I thought would be helpful for future readers of this question would be a quick definition of what an extempore speech actually is. Basically, it is a speech given on short notice i.e. without time to prepare. It is conversational in nature, meaning you are having a conversation with your audience.

One problem is that many speakers don’t realize that even though it is conversational, it shouldn’t be casual. You still need to be professional in your presentation skills. An example to support this is the scenario where a speaker has had advance warning of a speaking opportunity and instead of preparing for the task they say “I’ll just wing it!” The lack of preparation on the speaker’s part is usually quite evident.

Some people recommend using the technique of “Tell them what you are going to tell them, tell them, tell them what you told them.” This can be a good utilitarian tool to have in your speaker’s toolbox, however it doesn’t leave you with a memorable ending. It may also work against you … “why does this speaker keep repeating themselves?”

I know it depends on the speed of reading, but an approximate number or range would be extremely helpful.

as originally answered on Quora.com

How fast do you talk?I think when you refer to characters, it would be better to think in terms of words.

You are writing the content for a speech, meaning that its purpose is to be spoken out loud.

North Americans speak at the rate of 125 to 150 words a minute. If you drop too far below 125, many of your audience will complain. If you boost your rate to 200 or so words per minute, you will likely lose some of your audience. If the speaking rate gets too fast, then its hard to think of a particular point, when the speaker has moved on to the next.

So in a two-minute speech, while theoretically, you would need 300 words maximum, based on the above theory, you also need to factor in pauses. Pauses can be built in for dramatic effect or to allow your audience to think about what you have said. If you are intending to be humorous, you need to factor in time for your audience to laugh and perhaps applaud. You need for them to finish before you move on.

I would suggest that you aim at 250 words for your two-minute speech. It goes by quickly!

as originally answered on Quora.com

Toastmasters International Competent Leader PinThe answer depends on how one interprets the question. There is outside of the club, meaning that the activity is conducted outside of the club meeting. Another interpretation of outside the club, is that the leadership project is conducted at a non Toastmasters event, with or without fellow Toastmasters.

Yes, there are several opportunities to get credit for a leadership project outside of your club. You may have to think a little out of the box for this one.

I believe the benefit of the Competent Leadership manual is that it provides real world leadership skills development opportunities that can be undertaken within your Toastmasters club. Opportunity is everywhere, be it at work or in your private life and if you can undertake a specific leadership project task, within the parameters of our educational program, I say go for it!

Fillers like: um, uh, y’know, like, so, etc. If not, what’s some advice for accomplishing this?

As originally answered on Quora.com

Toastmasters International Sample MeetingThe short answer is ‘yes’, it can help do that. However, it doesn’t follow that just by joining Toastmasters you will become proficient at not using fillers. Like any other skill, you have to practice, you have to receive constructive feedback and you have to act upon the feedback.

In my club, Kelowna Flying Solo ToastmastersKelowna Flying Solo Toastmasters, I assign all new members the role of Ah Counter as their first official meeting role. I believe that to extinguish fillers in your oral presentation, you first have to be aware of them. After a new member has taken on the role a few times, they start to become aware of them in their own speaking.

To facilitate the ah counting we provide the Ah Counter of the evening a form to keep track of what they hear and make it easy to deliver a report. The following info is mentioned on the form:

<<Helping members off their crutches. The purpose of the Ah-Counter is to note any word or sound used as a crutch by anyone who speaks during the meeting. Words may be inappropriate interjections, such as and, well, but, so and you know. Sounds may be ah, um or er. You should also note when a speaker repeats a word or phrase such as “I, I” or “This means, this means.” These words and sounds can be annoying to listeners. The Ah-Counter role is an excellent opportunity to practice your listening skills. It is unnecessary to report someone with no ums, ers, etc.>>

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