Okanagan Panorama

Rae Stonehouse

Rae Stonehouse

Author Bio:

Rae A. Stonehouse is a Canadian born author & speaker. His professional career as a Registered Nurse working predominantly in psychiatry/mental health, has spanned four decades.

Rae has embraced the principal of CANI (Constant and Never-ending Improvement) as promoted by thought leaders such as Tony Robbins and brings that philosophy to each of his publications and presentations.

Rae has dedicated the latter segment of his journey through life to overcoming his personal inhibitions. As a 20+ year member of Toastmasters International he has systematically built his self-confidence and communicating ability. He is passionate about sharing his lessons with his readers and listeners. His publications thus far are of the self-help, self-improvement genre and systematically offer valuable sage advice on a specific topic.

His writing style can be described as being conversational. As an author Rae strives to have a one-to-one conversation with each of his readers, very much like having your own personal self-development coach. Rae is known for having a wry sense of humour that features in his publications.


Author of Self-Help Downloadable E-Books:

Power Networking for Shy PeoplePower Networking for Shy People: Tips & Techniques for Moving from Shy to Sly!

PROtect Yourself!PROtect Yourself! Empowering Tips & Techniques for Personal Safety: A Practical Violence Prevention Manual for Healthcare Workers.

E=Emcee SquaredE=Emcee SquaredTips & Techniques to Becoming a Dynamic Master of Ceremonies.

Power of PromotionPower of Promotion: On-line Marketing for Toastmasters Club Growth

You're Hired! Job Search Strategies That Work: Available as an easily downloadable e-book or as an on-line e-course. 

Phone Rae 250-451-6564 or info@raestonehouse.com

Rae’s social … are you?

Twitter: http://twitter.com/RaeStonehousehttp://twitter.com/RaeStonehouse

Linkedin? Rae is http://www.linkedin.com/in/raestonehousehttp://www.linkedin.com/in/raestonehouse

Copyright 2018 Rae Stonehouse. The above document may be freely copied and distributed as long as the author’s name and contact info remain attached.


To learn more about Rae A. Stonehouse, visit the Wonderful World of Rae Stonehouse at http://raestonehouse.com.

The 2016 World Championship of Public Speaking wore his underwear over his suit. This gets attention, yes. But is this what people should strive for in their public speaking? Really?

As originally answered on Quora.com

Have you pushed an envelope lately? How about pulled one?This is a question that leads to an opinion-based answer, rather than a definitive yes or no answer.

I’ve chaired some 30 or more speech contests at the club to the District level in my Toastmasters career. In my introductory comments I usually factor in the comment “Toastmasters speech contests are for those that want to challenge themselves. The cream rises to the top …” Or something to that effect.

I usually also mention that there are at least two contests going on here. At the one level, we are choosing a winner of this speech contest, who will rise to the next level of the contest and represent us. But even more importantly to me is the fact that each of our contestants is in competition with themselves. They are stepping out of their comfort zone and challenging themselves to do the best they can. Whether they win or not, they will be better speakers for it.

I haven’t seen the video yet for the 2016 World Championship of Public Speaking. I’ve seen almost all of the last decade or so that have their videos posted on Youtube. In watching the videos, it becomes evident that as a speaker and a wannabee champion, you have to stand out in some way from your competitors.

as originally answered on Quora.com

What do you think are the best topics for an entertaining speech?I don’t believe that there is a definitive answer to this question.

The best entertaining topics would be determined by the situation and the needs and the interests of the specific group, at a specific point in time.

That might sound confusing! The speech has to be appropriate. For example, years ago at a Toastmasters club humour contest, I heard a young woman as part of her speech ask us “Do you remember when you lost your virginity?” She did and proceeded to tell us about it.

It was funny and definitely an entertaining story. Perhaps in a pub, sharing beers with others, but not in a Toastmasters club. There were family members in attendance. The club President was mortified.

If I was invited to deliver an entertaining speech to a group, I would want to know why the group was gathering in the first place and if there was a theme. Knowing the theme is a good starting point.

I believe entertaining speeches are difficult to craft. What one person finds entertaining, another may not. They may find it offensive. I also believe that for a speech to be entertaining, you the speaker need to be a character in the speech. You can tell a story third person but it adds to the entertainment if you play a role.

as originally answered on Quora.com

Ever been to a Toastmasters meeting? You should!To start off I would be remiss if I didn’t comment on the presumption in the question that Toastmasters is a social skills course. It isn’t. Toastmasters members do learn social skills by participating in the program but it is not a specific learning objective.

As a 22-year member of Toastmasters, so far, I continue to benefit from my membership.

I started off as a shy, quiet introvert. I’m still an introvert but am in remission with my shyness.

Toastmasters has served as a catalyst in helping build my self-confidence which has opened up numerous opportunities for me that would never have been available to me.

Once I was terrified of public speaking. Now I speak in public regularly delivering seminars and talks on my specialties. I have an emcee/event organizing business. I never saw that in my future.

as originally answered on Quora.com

How important do you think speech communication is in the business world?Whether you are in the B to B (business to business) or the B to C (business to customer) sector, speech communication is quite important to the success or your business.

When we think of speech communication in regards to business, we likely think of having to deliver a prepared speech promoting our business. That is one example, but there are actually many more ways that being an effective public speaker can enhance your business.

At the basic level, we have our elevator pitches. I recommend you develop 30 second, 60 second and even ten minute versions of your self-introduction. These may be delivered to one person at a time, or as part of a larger group introduction. I have likely introduced myself hundreds of times. I was more confident and effective when I had prepared/practiced my pitch in advance.

I have seen countless numbers of people stumble over their self-introductions. We are told not to judge a book by its cover, yet we do it all the time. When we see somebody stumble over their self-introduction, we are left wondering about their credibility and whether they are worth getting to know better. On the other hand, when we hear an effective, enticing self-introduction, we are more likely to be curious or open to speaking to the individual at a later time.

as originally answered on Quora.com

How would you talk about yourself in the 3rd person?Interesting question! Of the hundreds of speeches and presentations that I have delivered, I don’t think that I have ever delivered a speech, in the third person, about myself. As for writing self-promotional copy in the third person, yes, lots of it.

I think one of the initial challenges in creating this type of speech is that it is an uncomfortable topic for many of us. Certainly it is a topic that we know more about than any other person in the world, but actually saying it out loud and sharing it with others is challenging. It relies on a certain amount of assertiveness and self-confidence.

Many of us have been told from an early age that we shouldn’t talk about ourselves because nobody likes a bragger. I quite often refer to the quote from Walt Whitman, American Cowboy Poet “If you done it, it ain’t bragging!”

How you create your speech and the content that you include, depends on what your purpose is. Are you speaking to inform, are you speaking to entertain, are you speaking to promote yourself, or is this merely an exercise to get you thinking out of the box?

The communication manuals of the toastmaster club are avialable for downloadonline.So can i use the material and organize an informal meeting among my friends in college on the lines of The Toastmaster meeting i.e Prepared speeches, Impromptu speeches and Evaluations?

As originally answered on Quora.com

A Leader Takes PeopleTheoretically, you could. I am sure that many speech/presentation coaches have done so. Likely though, they have recreated the content so that it is in a new format. I have done so.

Using the material for what you are suggesting is copyright infringement. Toastmasters International has a well-developed brand and should it be brought to their attention that you are using their material without permission you may very well receive contact from their Legal Department with a cease and desist order.

This begs the question … if you find the Toastmasters material to be of value, why wouldn’t you want to do something about getting a Toastmasters presence in your college?

If your town is big enough for a college, it is big enough to support one or more Toastmasters clubs. There are likely local clubs and experienced members that would love the chance to expand the local Toastmasters membership by helping develop a new college club.

They have the experience to get your club up and running. They will also support your new club for a year or so to help get it established.

Thursday, 18 August 2016 03:33

What is the best way to network?

 as originally posted on Quora.com

What's the best way to network? Answered by Rae Stonehouse.I don’t think that there is an absolute answer to this question. The answer probably lies in one’s ability to take advantage of different networking models.

If you are a shy introvert, utilizing the internet in advance to learn more about the people you are going to be networking with, reducing your anxiety and building your self-confidence, then Linked in can be of use. I outline a system I created in my book Power Networking for Shy People: Tips & Techniques for Moving from Shy to Sly!Power Networking for Shy People: Tips & Techniques for Moving from Shy to Sly!

as originally posted on Quora.com

I wouldn’t answer this question as an either or response. I would say yes to both and then some.

I have never taken a class on speech skills offered by a college. Nor have I ever seen one offered in my local college and/or university. There can be advantages to taking the course, as well as disadvantages.

I would expect that the program would only be as good as the instructor’s ability and passion for the subject. I have seen far too many adult educators that aren’t a good fit for what they are teaching. Classroom speaking training sessions often have a reputation of being rather stilted or stale. You would learn the mechanics, which is good, but you may be restricted in the advice and recommendations you get to be help you move to the next level.

as originally posted on Quora.com

I am involved in other things and don't know if I can find time.  

I think it would be a useful experience, but I am also trying to make nationals for biology Olympiad and do scientific research. Also I'm involved with violin/orchestra and 3 other clubs. The time management dilemma is killing me.


I’ve never liked questions that start with the word ‘should.’ You don’t need our permissionto make your choice.

All things being equal, there could be great value in participating in a speech & debate club. It will help you develop skills and self-confidence that will go a long way in helping you in your journey through life.

as originally answered on Quora.com

How can I overcome my fear of public speaking?Your question focuses on the fear that you and many people have about public speaking, not how to be a better public speaker. Yet, there lays the answer. As you become a better public speaker, your fear will reduce.

Many people use the acronym FEAR as follows: False Expectations Appearing Real. Fear is only in our minds. What one person fears, another may not. I work in psychiatry. A fellow worker named Mary was absolutely terrified of dealing with patients that got confrontational or aggressive. She would lock herself in the restroom until other staff had dealt with the situation.

Yet at the same time, Mary’s hobby was skydiving! I would certainly be fearful of jumping out of a perfectly good plane, but not Mary.

We aren’t born being afraid of public speaking, its something we develop. If we can become afraid, it is within us to become unafraid. The cure for fear is self-confidence.

So how do you overcome the fear of public speaking? It probably depends on how much time do you have to devote to overcoming the fear; if you are able to financially afford it and do you need to be unafraid by a certain date i.e. you have an upcoming event that you are required to speak at.

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