Okanagan Panorama

Tuesday, 29 November 2016 04:06

Why do people find it socially unacceptable or odd that someone doesn't want to "get drinks," go to a bar, or hang out at someone's place after work?

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I’m a medical student and after classes/end of the week, classmates get together for drinks at a bar or something like that. They used to invite me but found it odd when I refused. I like my alone time and use the little free time I have to pursue my hobbies. Not a fan of social gatherings.


The essence to the answer to this question seems to lay in the unstated fact that your question is describing someone who is a shy, introvert. Simply put, as a fellow introvert, we see the world differently.

The ‘social butterflies’ i.e. the ones that want to go and ‘hangout’ are likely extroverts. They see the world differently than we do as introverts. Their world view is full of socializing, making connections and lots of talking. Lots and lots of talking! Alcohol tends to loosen people’s tongues.

Your question isn’t asking anyone what to do about it. You will get lots of free advice here on Quora. Some of it is quite good. Some you have to wonder if alternative realities really exist.

I would suggest that you research the topic or introversion vs extroversion.

I’ve written some answers on the topic here on Quora on that subject that might help:

How am I supposed to Network If I am shy and socially anxious and avoid social events?

What is the best advice to overcome social anxiety?

How does an introvert network successfully?

What is the best advice to overcome social anxiety?

Thanks for your question.


as originally answered on Quora.com

Rae Stonehouse

Author Bio:

Rae A. Stonehouse is a Canadian born author & speaker. His professional career as a Registered Nurse working predominantly in psychiatry/mental health, has spanned four decades.

Rae has embraced the principal of CANI (Constant and Never-ending Improvement) as promoted by thought leaders such as Tony Robbins and brings that philosophy to each of his publications and presentations.

Rae has dedicated the latter segment of his journey through life to overcoming his personal inhibitions. As a 20+ year member of Toastmasters International he has systematically built his self-confidence and communicating ability. He is passionate about sharing his lessons with his readers and listeners. His publications thus far are of the self-help, self-improvement genre and systematically offer valuable sage advice on a specific topic.

His writing style can be described as being conversational. As an author Rae strives to have a one-to-one conversation with each of his readers, very much like having your own personal self-development coach. Rae is known for having a wry sense of humour that features in his publications.


Author of Self-Help Downloadable E-Books:

Power Networking for Shy PeoplePower Networking for Shy People: Tips & Techniques for Moving from Shy to Sly!

PROtect Yourself!PROtect Yourself! Empowering Tips & Techniques for Personal Safety: A Practical Violence Prevention Manual for Healthcare Workers.

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