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How do I overcome the fear of being looked down upon by society, even if I don't want society expects?

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As originally answered on Quora.com ...

There appears to be two parts to this question. The first part addressing fear, appears to be clear. The second part I’m not sure about. I’m going to interpret it as “even if I don’t want what society expects?”

Obviously, this is going to be a one-sided discussion. If you were sitting with me I would challenge your way of thinking from a few different angles:

  • What makes you believe that society is looking down on you?
  • Who exactly is ‘society’?
  • Is it every body that you have ever met?
  • Is it a specific group of individuals?
  • Or is it specific individuals i.e. not part of a group?
  • How do you describe the fear that you are experiencing? How does if feel to you i.e. signs & symptoms?
  • Do you have fears in other aspects of your life?
  • Would you describe yourself as shy? If so, in all situations or just some?

I’ve answered a few questions on fear & shyness here on Quora. They may be of help to you. Check out these articles:

How many people do you truly and completely trust?

How can people who are habitually treated as though they are inferior make things better for themselves?

Are there any good ways to tell if you're just being paranoid or if someone genuinely doesn't like you?

As for your fear of being looked down on by society, you may benefit from some psychological counselling to help you explore those feelings and to develop strategies to overcome your feelings. As a long-time mental health clinician I believe that almost everybody can benefit from speaking to a professionally trained counsellor. There have been times in my life that I should have taken this advice myself.

As for the second part of the question, based on not really understanding what the intent is, I’m not really sure myself what society expects. There are certainly laws, morals and values but these aren’t universal. Different societies, countries and geographical regions may have their own. Perhaps an in depth look at your local society or having a discussion with someone you trust and can express a quality opinion may be of value.

Thanks for your question!

Rae Stonehouse

Author Bio:

Rae A. Stonehouse is a Canadian born author & speaker. His professional career as a Registered Nurse working predominantly in psychiatry/mental health, has spanned four decades.

Rae has embraced the principal of CANI (Constant and Never-ending Improvement) as promoted by thought leaders such as Tony Robbins and brings that philosophy to each of his publications and presentations.

Rae has dedicated the latter segment of his journey through life to overcoming his personal inhibitions. As a 27+ year member of Toastmasters International he has systematically built his self-confidence and communicating ability. He is passionate about sharing his lessons with his readers and listeners. His publications thus far are of the personal/professional self-help, self-improvement genre and systematically offer valuable sage advice on a specific topic.

His writing style can be described as being conversational. As an author Rae strives to have a one-to-one conversation with each of his readers, very much like having your own personal self-development coach. Rae is known for having a wry sense of humour that features in his publications.


Author of Self-Help Downloadable E-Books, paperbacks and on-line courses:


Power Networking for Shy PeoplePower Networking for Shy People: How to Network Like a Pro

52 Power Networking Tips: How to Network Like a Pro

PROtect Yourself Now!PROtect Yourself Now! Violence Prevention for Healthcare Workers

The Savvy Emcee: How to be a Dynamic Master of Ceremonies.

Power of Promotion: On-line Marketing for Toastmasters Club Growth

You're Hired! Job Search Strategies That Work: Available as an easily downloadable e-book or as an on-line e-course.

You're Hired! Resume Tactics: Job Search Strategies That Work

Job Interview Preparation: Job Search Strategies That Work

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You're Hired! Power Tactics: Job Search Strategies That Work

You're Hired! Job Searching Success Tips List

Working With Words: Adding Life to Your Oral Presentations

Blow Your Own Horn! Personal Branding for Business Professionals

Make it Safe! A Family Caregiver's Home Safety Assessment Guide for Supporting Elders@Home


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The above document may be freely copied and distributed as long as the author’s name and contact info remain attached.


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